Pricing

The Roast

$5
  • *Full natal chart calculation via Swiss Ephemeris — planets, houses, aspects to the exact degree
  • *A radically honest, surgically precise comedic reading of your entire chart
  • *Permanent link to your roast — revisit it whenever you need to be humbled
  • *Shareable — inflict it on friends, enemies, exes

One-time payment. No subscriptions. The cosmos doesn't do recurring billing.